Blogging Around

Cuff Links: Get With The Program!

     I found myself startled about 6 months ago when while visiting my good friend Jim, who I get to see only two or three times a year, I discovered that he was wearing a shirt with French cuffs...and that means CUFF LINKS. I hadn't seen them in decades. "Where'd you get that?" I exclaimed about his shirt, but I kept it simple because I was so absolutely shocked to see those cuff links and I didn't want to insult him. I was just surprised. Could it have been so long since I've been out of my cave. I guess so. But as styles come and go, this attractive but a bit burdensome style has again become fashionable to us in the masses.

     That alone would not have been so interesting but just this last Christmas my neighbor, a lovely woman named Meme, of all things bought a gift for me of a pair of cuff links made from 2 Mercury dimes. They're beautiful but I had no shirts with French cuffs. Until now that is. It's not so easy finding shirts with French cuffs in the stores either. I found some white ones fairly priced and a gray one overpriced but that seemed so limited. And you might know from my earlier posts that I'm a thrift store fanatic. So now I had my challenge; find a selection of shirts in different colors with French cuffs so I could show off my new cuff links.

     Now cuff links are fascinating pieces of jewelery. That can be images of anything you might want to personalize about yourself or just some pleasant artistic form. They usually match but they don't have to. They're actually a lot of fun after not wearing them for so many years.

     *Here's your first tip for finding French cuff shirts in thrift stores. Note: The sleeves are MUCH longer so just look for the shirts with the longest sleeves to find the ones with French cuffs. Easy!

     Anyway, I now have a beautiful gray shirt, a white one, and a yellow one. Two of them were brand new (I guess some other sartorially minded souls gave up on their French cuffs...probably gifts too.) and the white one looked great when it came back from the cleaners. White shirts in good condition are tough to find second hand. They show dirt at the neck and at the crease where the cuffs turnover if they've been worn more than once or twice. I got lucky. You hunt a lot and you get lucky. That's how luck works.

     Now here's the cherry on the cake. When my father passed away in 1985 my mom kept some of his belongings as mementos. Then when my mom passed away these sentimental treasures came down to me. If you've ever been through this experience it's a poignant moment deciding what to keep and what to throw away. It's really kind of nice feeling, feeling the power of that love renewed. And one of the things I kept was very personal to him, an old pair of cuff links. They're gold tone with some kind of ruby red glass. Simple but nice. I like them. I actually went out to find the yellow shirt just to go with them. And I like very much knowing the cuff links I'll wear were my dad's. Not just to have them but to wear them feels really good.

     So I wear them when I can and I actually look forward to it because, you see, I'm flexible, I'm mod, and I love to play...even if I'm a little late to the game.

    

Gameplay

     I was listening to the radio in the car the other day. I usually listen to music. Lately I've been listening to MEGA down here in South Florida. It's a contemporary Latin station. It has a good mix of modern sounds with a healthy dose of Shakira. I think she's great. I like Latin music because it's full of energy and life, great percussion, and great singers. And a big plus is that I only understand a little Spanish so I don't have to be bothered by the commercials that much. But I got a little tired of listening to the same old thing so I switched over to AM radio.

     All I could find on AM radio were sports shows, politics shows, some comedy shows, and then some music. And then it struck me. They were ALL game shows, even the music. It's easy to see that a sports show covering different sports is about games. Then they create fantasy football games, sports gossip games, and prophecies of future games games. And we listen and we love it.

     And politics, especially in this election season, is about contests or in other words...games. And we have the same political gossip and prophecies of the future games as the different shows discuss important topics that really do affect us all in a serious way. But they don't talk about the shared responsibility we have in those issues. What they talk about is the I said-you said-but I really meant-no you didn't-yes I did-God bless America games. Games. And we listen and we love it.

     And the comedy shows have their call-in your favorite inebriated movie star games, their isn't that person an idiot games, and their say something coyly about sex games. And we listen and we love it.

     But where does music fit into my "There are nothing but games on the radio." thesis. Well, for myself anyway (and I never thought that I was any different than anyone else), I play emotional fantasy games. I rock to the music and daydream. It's a nice thing about how the music takes you to other places. But not being in a club or concert hall, instead being alone in the privacy of my own car, you have a tendency to drift a bit in your imagination and create fun scenarios of doing things related to the music. Sometimes their sad, sure. And there's a place for that...within reason. There's a sweetness in the blues. Just don't enjoy the pain too much or get too comfortable with the sadness. Any emotion can have that sweetness part to it. Ask any horror movie fan. Emotions are like that. Feelings are how we touch life with our souls. So music is about emotional games. And we listen and we love it.

     So what? So nothing. It's just an observation about human nature. People like games. They're interesting and who's going to win in the end is always a question. It keeps us fascinated and guessing, employing our marvelously creative brainpower to try to figure out the outcome. But how can there be a winner when we're just listening to music? Well, I think that's all a matter of if you're willing to put your pains aside and give yourself your dreams. Will you, or will you just listen and love it? 

Stopped in Traffic. Grrrr. Be Calm. Grrrr.

     I hate traffic. Did I say that I hated traffic? What I really meant to say is that I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! In other words, "I really don't like driving in traffic." Who does? No one I know. That's for sure. But we accommodate it. We accept it to be able to live in a nice place we can afford and have a good job that pays for it. After all, you do what you have to do to get what you want, and then you make the best of it.

     But "commuting", that technical word we've created to explain the miserable time we spend driving in traffic is such a burden. Just the sound of it makes me cringe. Sure we say "commuting" just means that we're going to work. No way. Commuting doesn't mean that we're taking the Lear jet to the private airport to be picked up by our limousine. And it doesn't mean driving to work when there aren't any cars on the road. What we all in the trenches know it means is...driving in traffic.

    The topic today comes courtesy of the horrendous traffic jam I ran into trying to get on the Rickenbacker Causeway going out to Key Biscayne this weekend. 98% of the time, Saturday or Sunday, there's no problem, just the blissful anticipation of going out on the causeway over Biscayne Bay and leaving the hustle of modern life behind me for a day. Really a very nice way to spend a day, rain or shine. But there was some event, maybe a bike race or a marathon, but most likely a tennis match at the Lipton Stadium out there. I never figured it out and I don't really care. All I remember is the traffic.

     I've been through this before and even though I'd just driven 45 minutes to get there, as soon as I realized the stopped traffic was a problem I decided to cancel my plans. I pulled off the road to call my friend Tom who was meeting me at the boat moored at Crandon Marina. So I called to warn him. But when his girlfriend, Kay, picked up the phone I sensed trouble. He had forgotten his phone and was headed right into the jaws of hell, and there wasn't any way for me to reach him. So knowing that he might still try to get through the traffic and meet me as planned I returned to hell and proceeded to wait...in traffic.

     Another half hour of that was all I could stand. I figured it was going to take me another 45 minutes just to get to the toll booth and God knows how long after that. I saw an opening. I pulled off the road and headed home. The relief I felt was close to inspirational. What joy? What comfort?

     To Tom's  credit he had a similar experience and had headed home too. I was very relieved to hear that. It was my idea to go down to the boat that Sunday and I didn't want to feel responsible for subjecting anyone else to that mess.

     Now I'm no newbie. I commuted for many years, by train on the Long Island Railroad in New York and by car for many years from Broward County to different jobs in Miami. The only way I could take the pressure of driving in traffic, and coming to work on a Monday morning already exhausted or driving home exhausted and tense everyday, was to get to work at least an hour early and leave work late at least an hour. A lot of you know the routine. My bosses never minded but my life was miserable, much because of overwork and driving in f***ing traffic.

     One of the best things I ever did for myself when I reorganized my life some years back was make a commitment to myself that I would NEVER endure the misery of driving in traffic to commute to work again. Remember when I hit that traffic going to the boat last weekend I just turned around. My mental health was not worth the anxiety and helplessness of sitting in traffic. I could do it so I did.

     So when I dreamed about my next employment, a critical condition I made for myself was that I would NOT drive in rush hour traffic EVER again. Of course, the natural way things go sometimes it happens, but my fixed plan is always to avoid it by scheduling my appointments around it.

     Everyone can't do that, unfortunately. Our lives scream for money and comfort and we do it by balancing things out the best we can. We accept traffic. We try to remain calm and steady and happy. We listen to music, talk on the phone, or listen to CDs. We try, like the thousands of others who share the road and traffic conditions with us, to put the misery out of our minds and simply accept it, a cost of doing business.

      All I can tell you is that I made it. I wanted to be free of it and I did it. And I'm happier and happy that I can make the choice to turn around and wait for a better day when I don't have to suffer sitting in traffic while I try to control my emotions for hatred of it. Feeling good, just a little more often, was something I was able to do for myself, so that means you can do it for yourself too unless you like...driving in traffic.

Love One Another: The Answer for Israel and Palestine

     A Christian answer to a Jewish and Muslim problem. But, impossible you say. Well for the people who live there I hope not because you see there really is no other way. First let me tell you that I'm Jewish so sure that will shade my perspective but I'm not here to talk about arguments for or against the logic of anyone's rights or policies. I want to talk about a solution to the crisis. And this crisis exists whether things boil over into heart-wrenching tragedies or simply simmer in concealed hatreds.

     Both sides wish that the other would simply disappear. That's not going to happen so we can easily move to step two. Two groups who both love their kids want the same thing, not similar but the exact same thing. The land. And that's where the main problem exists. For people who want to share the land the problem here is that the geography stinks. I don't see how any agreement could be satisfactory that has a nation split into two separate pieces like Gaza and the West Bank. It's just not going to work. It's never going to work. Like it didn't work with Pakistan and Bangla Desh, it just doesn't make sense and no country will ever live under those conditions. No matter how long it takes to create that connection it must be done and it must be done effectively and satisfactorily. It's going to have to be something of very high quality. Maybe a road, maybe a tunnel, but the only solution to physical separation is going to be a physical connection.

     A very complex solution for people at war with each other,for sure. And even if everyone came to their senses for just a day and agreed to do it there'd be timetables to keep, performance benchmarks to meet, construction plans and costs, and keeping everyone patient while the physical solution is established. This is a very tall order as the lack of progress over the decades proves. To create trust where there is no trust. It's easy to say but how do you convince people in a way that they prove it to themselves and are willing to risk their lives for it because that's literally what's at stake.

    But If people can't trust their neighbors at least they can trust the love in God that's necessary to hold any agreement together. That's all they'll have. And it's really more than enough.

     But then there's the "never give in, never compromise folks." on both sides. They're really not that unusual either. It's a common personality type. All I can think of is to be so sincere in wanting to be fair to all parties that at least all reasonable people will see the benefit in finding an agreement. And most people are reasonable and have more important things on their minds than succumbing to hatred as being the central feature of their lives. They want to enjoy the love they possess as a human being. And that's the answer, Love. It's the only answer. These people live on top of each other so love and mutual respect will be the only way they're ever going to get along.

     So what's most important is an appeal to the common sense of the "never compromise folks" because compromise and negotiation is the answer to how people live together in any condition. Not compromise through threats of violence but to accept even intense disagreement in a forum committed to compromise. So it gets back to love and our interpretation of love, taking that feeling of love we feel for our children and bestowing that love on our opponent's kids.

     Love will work. And for two sides that base their arguments on their religious convictions they must trust in love because that's the power that runs parallel to every religion. There is no better way. There is no other way. So get God involved. And for anyone who loves God it should be a welcome way. So you can either trust in your commitment to your own success or you can trust in God's success. Make your choice.

The Descent of Entertainment

     I saw Hairspray this weekend. Fabulous. Absolutely great. A modern musical and I loved it. I would pay to see it again. It was that good. The old pro actors were great and the new faces were super with incredibly beautiful voices. The direction was crisp and the songs right on. The editing was tight and the casting just right. A great story, and boy, I guess you could say I liked it. My only criticism is that I was looking forward to seeing how they worked in the beatnik scene. But they didn't use it at all. Anyway, thanks to everyone involved.

     I'd be surprised if it didn't walk away with a ton of Academy Awards. But there's the problem. What else is there to get excited about? Hairspray could compete with anything on any day and do well. But in the world we live in today where restaurants have become toy stores and most movies have morphed into music videos something's missing. And like every other part of life there's some spirituality information here.

     Good is good no matter what the subject whether it's horror or drama or slapstick comedy. But I'm making an observation here in our information age where more people are making more content for more venues to a bigger population craving entertainment. Where there's such an intense need and people willing to pay for it others will rush in to fill that need and profit from it. But then the quality suffers. Rushing anything gives a second rate product. Time, consideration, and reworking things to get things that work well to work excellently takes practice. That's what's missing today.

     I saw an old movie a few weeks ago. It was even ancient for me. It was a musical with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers from the 1930's called Roberta. This is the original black and white version. All the dancing was super but there was one Fred Astaire solo where I had the thought, "This guy isn't human." I'd never seen Fred Astaire or anyone else for that matter dance so well; strong, smooth, fast, comfortable, confident. Just so accomplished. Find it. Rent it. Order it over the Internet. Anyone who appreciates excellence will be amazed and delighted. It's a real treat.

     So how did Fred Astaire do it. Practice! That's where all excellence comes from. From what I hear people talking about him, he was a perfectionist. Now I always thought that was a funny way to describe someone's opinion of themselves. I figure that he knew what he wanted. He knew what he could do. And he worked at it until he could do it in front of the cameras. He worked at it until he knew it was right and he didn't settle for something he knew was less than what he could accomplish if he worked at it.

     That's what I think modern entertainment needs. Thoughtful writing to fill in the spaces between the car crashes and explosions and real conflicts and consequences that put the sex and romance into a context that inspires our spiritual humanity.

     That's another thing I liked about Hairspray. It addressed that reality beautifully in the way it put you behind the cameras and the everyday job of putting on a TV show contrasting with the magical scenes, those cropped pictures of our fantasies, that appear on our TV screens at home. Man, that was really a good movie.

   

Warren Buffet Doesn't Like Money.

     It sounds like a dumb thing to say about one of the richest people in the world. Common sense says that he wants money and I agree with that. Business articles extol how good he is at it. Business spirituality articles repeat what a good person he is...and he certainly seems to be that in whatever I've seen of him on TV. But that doesn't mean that he likes money.

     It means that he's good at making money and using his money to make more money. I think that he loves making money, he really enjoys it. He likes the challenge. He likes the mystery. He likes solving the puzzles that owning different corporations at different times present. He likes trading the currencies, the options, and exploring the angles. After all, in the stock market there are no guarantees. That makes it exciting. All the moving details make it fascinating. And the human element of choice and change make it so you have to stay on top of your game if you want to do well. Pretty fun stuff.

     But money I think is just points to him, a way to measure things. He's always presented as living simply for a wealthy man, owning a nice house but not a grand house, owning a nice car but not a glamorous car, at home with who he is but not overly impressed with himself. I once heard him say on TV that he wouldn't want a boat because it's too much bother. He'd really rather go out on a friend's boat and not suffer the agony of ownership but instead just enjoy it when he had the time. This is part of why I think that he really doesn't care about money.

     Money has no real value unless you spend it and buy stuff. And he doesn't seem to spend that much compared to how much he has. Buying things moves the money around. People who build things and serve things and sell things would benefit if Mr. Buffet spent more of his money on those things. It doesn't matter if it's for his personal benefit or altruistic endeavors but it's spending that money that gives it real value.

     The incident that gave me this idea was a news report that Mr. Buffet was going to give a huge portion of his wealth to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation to give away for him and to be used for humanitarian and other purposes to benefit society. That sounds great and what anyone would expect someone to do who had such enormous resources. But it struck me that giving away money sounds like fun so why wouldn't he do it himself.

     So I figure that all this money is a nuisance to him. It sounds weird I know. But like he always does, he wants to employ his resources usefully but now I guess he really doesn't want the responsibility and bother of doing it. I guess that's not part of the fun for him. Giving away that much money requires a ton of research and character evaluations of the people who are asking for the money that he's worked so hard for.

     It's a rare opportunity so I'm sure he wants to do it well. Maybe that really does show how smart he is. He just wants to get back to his puzzles and know that his achievements are balanced by good works. 

Are we really that bored? I guess we are.

     When does being modern get offensively boring? Well I finally got pushed over the edge or maybe I just woke up for a moment. What did it was another TV reality show about people getting haircuts.

     We have the old joke about things being so slow that it's like watching paint dry. Today we have a bunch of shows that do just that. And the way they get excited about colors, where do you think Harvest Gold and Avocado Green came from? They were hot colors once too. I almost expect the next big show to be "Computer Boot-up", the epic.

     I really started to get riled on the shows about cleaning out the garage or cleaning up your room. Do we really need to watch a tv show about that or are we just amazed how disgusting some people can live.

     I guess the new shows will be about brushing your teeth, flushing the toilet, and washing dishes. It seems this is truly who we are today as we meet this amazing challenge called life.

     Okay. So it's probably much less about what people are doing than really about how interesting the people are who are doing it. People are always interesting. There are amazing people and relationships in every occupation so why do the tv producers insist on following some of the most inane people you can find. Where are the builders, the growers, the challengers, the constructors, the people who really make this world go around with their creative ideas, positive relationships, and excellent work habits. You can find positive examples of that in any industry or civic organzation. And people who excel are interesting people no matter what job they do, whether they're pumbers or toll-takers. Excellence has a quality that everyone can learn from to make their own lives better.

     But I guess we have this today as a modern extension of the soap operas. They seem relatively simple to produce and they touch on the practical aspects of people's lives. But a little too basic if you ask me. These are things we should be DOING instead of watching on TV. And my guess is if there was anything better we'd be watching that instead.

     But I watch them too. Some of them are fascinating. Shows about someone's life so disrupted by the problems of obesity or a physical handicap and their positive experience in rising to the challenge, or somtimes their frustration at the magnitude of the challenge.

     But please not the simplistic day-to-day casual goings on that are meaningless to anyone who's engaged in their own life. So please Mr./Mrs./Ms. Producer won't you give us something better than a yard sale to work your televison magic on. You can make anything into a spirtual information guide if you want to. I know you can. I know you'd like to. I know that I'd like it. Touch that spirtual essence in your productions then watch the tv sparks really fly.

Testing! Testing!

     Everyone likes being healthy even if they don't think about it every day. When we get injured or feel sick we run to the medicine cabinet for the Advil or Tylenol. And we feel better. That's good. We like feeling good or at least feeling better. Then there are those times that we really start moaning or wincing in pain and we say, or someone with a clearer mind tells us, "You better see a doctor!" and we think to ourselves,"I think you're right."

     So we go to the doctor, they give us an examination, and they tell us that they have to do a few tests. And even though we still feel miserable at least we feel that we're doing something that's going to make us feel better soon. And the tests come back and the doctor tells us that everything looks fine. "But at least we eliminated what your problem isn't."

     Here's where I have a problem. If the tests came back negative for a problem, maybe I didn't need the test at all. Are they going to ask me to pay for it though? They sure are. Wouldn't it be more fair if any time a test came back that you were healthy in regards to that test you should get half your money back.

     My mom was very sick a while ago. She's since passed away but I remember going to the doctor with her many times in those last six months. She had leukemia so every time we went into the doctor's office a nurse would take her blood on a little slip of paper and then she'd put it into some kind of analyzer machine and a printout came out with an evaluation of her blood chemistry. Simple. Automatic.

     Then we'd wait to see the doctor and if the numbers were up. He'd say take more medicine. If the numbers were down. He'd say take the same or less medicine. Of course my mom was sick and usually she'd need more medicine. But there really wasn't much artistry, or even the need for a human being, in the decision to take more or less.

     But the waiting room was always packed. And it occurred to me. The office had two doctors, two nurses, and four billing clerks. I realized that I was just in the bowels of some big machine, reading numbers and handing out other numbers. Not very personal and even any attempts at personality were flawed, dismal, and obviously insincere. My mom finally realized it and was ready to change doctors, and while the treatment probably would have been the same hopefully she would have had a more pleasurable experience in her last days.

     So what have I learned? You really have to be your own doctor. And by the grace of God and the Internet you'll do pretty good by it. Many doctors get stuck in the ways of their busy lives and are late coming to new treatments. Your research makes a BIG difference. It's shows personal responsibility making yourself smarter about your health. And wisely what you're doing is finding our what professionals around the world have discovered as ways to treat your specific problem. Often you're relating to people who specialize in your particular ailment. Then you can bring it up with your attending physician for their feedback. I think you'll find many nutritional aids fall into this category.

     I've found this worked well for myself when I had attacks of gout. The doctor's recommended pain medicine. Thank God I needed it. But they didn't mention the nutritional importance until I brought up what I learned on the web. And gout is specifically a nutritional disease. I've since held the gout at bay by reducing my intake of certain foods and also by using nutritional supplements. All of which I learned on the web.

     Anyway, stay smart, do the work to help yourself, and stay healthy.         

What The Media Missed About Anna Nicole Smith

     I never knew much about Anna Nicole Smith. To tell you the truth, I never really cared. For me, she was just another celebrity in the mass media publicity machine. She caught my eye though when she brought her legal case to the Supreme Court. That's definitely unusual. That takes determination and courage. Then I saw her reality show which I found pathetic and unwatchable. But joined with her history of over-the-top sexuality and humble beginnings she seemed interesting in a tragic sort of way.

     And then she lost all that weight. Wow! She was stunningly beautiful. More beautiful then I'd ever seen her in pictures before. And when she did that sexy thing with her mouth for the cameras, wow! wow! Even with so many women trying for the same thing it's easy to see she was one of a kind.

     So what one word could define her short life. JUSTICE. She always seemed surrounded by lawsuits. I think that's what raised her from the illusion of a celebrity to life's reality that we all want to be treated fairly. All I know about her is what I heard in the media but that's what it looks like was the meaning of her life...her fight for fairness.

     As human beings we're split over lawsuits. We like watching a fight and wonder who'll win. We salivate over the money or the victory. But when we add our love to the mix, as it's impossible to avoid, all we really want is that fairness. That's what justice is. And it's followed Anna Nicole Smith beyond the grave and into our future to remind us. I believe that's the legacy she left for us. That means she was special and she'll always be special. So, rest in peace, Anna Nicole Smith.